To Busy For The World Around Me

I have been so busy that its been awhile since my last blog. 

Well July was some busy month for me, emotional and physical. I have been stuff into so much work that its been over taking my free time. 

But one thing that did get some of my attention was Dylan. We had catches up with lunch, I only excepted a little cafe but where I meet him it was at some nice fancy place, I was in my work clothes which i guess was lucky cause it suited the formal dress code at this lunch bar. And he was sitting there with his beautiful smile when I walked in. I wasn't to sure why he wanted to catch up, he knew I have been hanging out with Jarvis. Maybe he was jealous? Everything was good, he might be moving to Hawaii for business if he gets the break thorough. And to mention he looking at apartments to live in. But the thing that got to me was that he was saying our plans that we dreamed of when we were a couple. I don't know why it made me angry, I guess it's because I still want to have that dream with him or maybe with some one els.... 

Jarvis and I on the other hand, have been good. We haven't been hanging out much but always see him at the gym. I gives me some lessons sometimes but the lessons more turn into talking about other things. We have hade some cute dinner dates, that always swept me of my feet. Just everything he does makes me smile and feel more alive. Yesterday he dropped me of home from dinner, we kissed goodbye, but this kiss was different it was more of I don't want to stop. My feelings have been getting stronger every time I'm with him, but I'm afraid to let them all out. I guess I'm just trying not to be that broken hearted girl again... 

Come and Go

Im starting to find that I'm letting people come in and out of my life easy, but the ones that are going out I was smart enough to not let them get to close where it will hurt me. 

But Dylan I let him in to close, close enough to my family... I haven't talked to him since the little scene at the club with his booty call girl. I guess I still think about him but not so much now since Jarvis jumped into the picture. Speaking of Jarvis I saw him again at the gym the other day and from all our texting he asked to go out to lunch tomorrow! Yay so I'm looking forward for that :) 

I still don't know much about him yet, I have know idea what nationality he is, not that it matters but would like to know his background I mean he could be a serial killer lol. 

Enough about boys now.... Iv been looking for a job since I'm going to be home for the next few months before I travel to Hawaii I need some money, cause I feel bad always using my parents money. But it's hard looking for a job right now everyone here are not really looking for workers. And my wallet is empty but filled with my parents money on it. They have always given us kids everything and anything that we needed or wanted and I want to give back for them. Ah wish I had a money tree !

Good Week

What a busy week I have been caught up in, I'm emotionally and physical tired! But the fun kept me going :) got a lot to tell not sure where to start?? 

Anyways ill start where I left off. I meet up with Dylan the next day we went out for lunch, it was awkward in the car when he was dropping me of, he even brought up our kiss from the other night and here I am sitting there sweating up a storm with my mind gone all blank on what to say. But thanks for dylan on always keeping calm and not making it to awkward, we talked to each other on how we are feeling and what we should do, we got close to actually make things official until I guess it's his booty call girl rang. But worst thing that put me was when I asked who it was and he just said a cousin but hah on Instagram didn't look like a cousin cuddling in the bed with a bra on, unless it was but then that's just wired -.- 

So I left it at that staying friend with Dylan cause I could see that he was still the same.

So yesterday I went out with family to the markets, it's pretty big but made my whole way around it. I was in need for some shoes so checked out the shoe place, and dayumm was there a cutie there. I think he even caught me when my jaw dropped. I acted all cool when ever he was looking my direction and so it was time to pay for the shoes he was the only one close to the counter but me being a egg I quickly walked of leaving Taylor to pay for my stuff. I know what the hell it was my chance of talking to him but I'm a chicken ill admit it. But thanks for Taylor best wing man ;) he put his number on the receipt for me. I'm not being cocky or anything but this guy from the others that always trying get my attention he sure had mine. 

Then later on at night we went out to the clubs it was our last time in our hotel, had fun a little downer when Dylan was there and his booty call girl ended up at the same club as us so it's got abit of tension between me and him and our friends could see it, but I didn't let it ruin my night. 

And now from today had a bit of a hangover but wasn't to bad from other that I thought I was gonna die from. Hit the gym with my brother haven't   been training in awhile, and never guess who I saw gym that cutie from the market. I was running on the treed mill when he walked pass smiling and here I with a red face I smiled back and nearly tripped on my feet. 5mins later I look over my shoulder to see him and my brother talking, it was time to go home was getting abit late plus I was cooking tonight for everyone. I walked over to my brother where he was next to the cutie (his name Jarvis) we made eye contact and just keeper smiling and making my blush ahhh! My brother introduced us and had a strong grip shaking my hand but I was more waiting for a kiss on the check lol. My brother went over the other side to get his bottle and I waited with Jarvis cause we where close tithe exit. He said oh your that girl that got your friend to get your shoes laughing his head of I just went quiet and smiled away at his cute laugh, he asked why I didn't text or call him. But ah you think I would text or call you when I couldn't even let you serve me, I gave him my number cause I still wasn't going to text him to shy don't know why I guess boys just make me shy. So later on tonight after cooking dinner I got a text and it was Jarvis I was actually surprised he texted. So right now we are texting each other, he seems like a nice guy plus his body makes it more better. Hopefully ill see him at the gym again tomorrow! Haha I can stalk him while he works out 

Maybe this is Dylan's replace meant that's waiting for me ??? 

What a night

Well good morning/ afternoon my bloggers. I woke up to my beautiful view but sadly it's raining but still can see the surf and it looks pretty good, I could say my head is bounding and feeling like a zombie but, I was responsible last night and didn't get to carried away on my drinks :) plus I had to look after my brother in the end Lols it seemed like he hadn't been out in a long time... 

Anyways my night started out with just my brother his partner, best friend and I to a lovely dinner as my brother painter can't go out cause as before I said they are expecting :) so we treated her at a nice restaurant and to finish it of with her favourite ice cream place cold rock it's pretty good. Anyways we went back to our hotel room I'm all nervous and everything to see Dylan again, and yep me trying to always impress dressed all nice and dolled up Lol. 

When we got to the bar everyone was there but I stayed outside for awhile to get ready and see Dylan, it wasn't even a big deal seeing him again don't know why I was being all nervous for. But when I went inside I now understood why I was nervous, he had that beautiful smile with his tight top showing his manly arms, ahh think I fell in love again. I went and sat at the other side of the bar with some other friends cause I didn't have enough balls to go talk to Dylan, next thing I see Taylor calling him over ah man was I sweating like hell! 

We got talking and yeah it went back to normal how we use to talk. He asked me during the night if my boyfriend was gonna join us, I guess that was his way of wondering if I'm with someone, when I said no he was surprised and gave me his sexy smile, in my head I felt like say yeah he's talking to me right now! Ah I wanted him so bad!! Anyways during the night we all had fun catching up with old friends and then coming to the end I turned out to be the baby sitter for my from he wasn't badly drunk just needed help on getting back to our hotel room, before we left Dylan came out of the club where I was waiting for a taxi, he shocked me when he gave me a kissed and whisper in my ear goodnight beautiful :0 I just froze there looking like an idiot but then my brother decides to vomit nearly hit my shoes, but I kinda thank him for it as it quickly change the situation I was in.. I jumped in the taxi while Dylan faves us goodbye.

When we got back to the room I put my brother to bed where his partner ended up sleeping next to me cause of his drunk ass, I couldn't really go  to sleep I couldn't get over what just happened, I had butterflies in my stomach even now thinking about it. I have no idea what to do now??? Help! He rang me this morning but I didn't answer, and then he text me asking if I was ok, I still haven't text or called him back should I text or call him back? I don't know what to say but.. :/ do I talk about lastnigjt or do I just act like nothing happened cause he hasn't said anything yet about what happened.... 

Week booked to relax

Well telling my parents about my brother and his partner being pregnant went well abit emotional for my mother, but we are all happy family :) 

My parents booked me, my best friend (her names Taylor) and my brother and his parent a hotel room for the week, it's pretty great! Iv got a good view to the beach to check the surf and not to far from the central night life wooo! 

Anyways from my last little blog I was going to tell you's about Dylan texting me... It felt nice texting him again we updated each other where we are at in. Our life's now, he's doing a diploma while studying at uni which I'm happy for him he sounds like he's got his career sorted, he didn't mention anything about a girl in his life which I'm a bit happy i don't know why I guess I still want to be that girl in his life and no other girls, but I guess I have to try and let him go... I feel alright texting him but seeing him I don't think I would handle being face to face with him I know my feeling will come back..

 Oh forgot to mention my brother told him to meet us all down at a bar tonight with other friends, I know what my brother trying to do sneaky boy he is. It's going to be 7 months now since I haven't seen him I heard he's gone more cuter ahh I hope my night goes well!! 

I'm so nervous to see him tonight, i don't know if ill have control on my emotions, i do still love him but i then have my reasons to not be with him :( im so confused! But I'm happy Taylor here with me she's always been there for me no matter what. 

Home Sweet Home

Early morning surf with my brother. It felt so nice surfing the waves at home, we where even lucky to see a family of whales swimming around it was amazing, the coldness of the water couldn't even put me off (it's winter in Australia right now but it's not to bad of a winter here) the whales presents just made me feel so happy! 

After our surf we went and had breaky. It was great catching up with my brother (he's a year older- and my other brother he's 27 with two kids) me and my brothers are close we always go to each other for help, and I guess why he wanted to take me out surfing and breaky cause he needed my help, his girlfriend is pregnant which is a blessing to have a new addition to the family but, he's only 20 and he's still have more of life ahead of him and that's what I guess he was scared about to tell my parents. I know my father will be up set but he will be so supportive for them, but on the other hand my mother will brake down she always wanted us kids to get a good career and then settle for a family so we have a good job to help the family. Which I agree with the women, but for my brother I can feel his worries to when he has to face our parents. 

Iv never kinda understood why he came to me, why not my other brother who already has kids, where I'm still living young and needing help on my relationship status:/ but being the only girl I have always been a second mother to my brother  the one who's a year older) even though he's older he wasn't an angel of a child and I was always there when ever he got in trouble... 

Anyways we are telling my parents tonight hope all goes well... Oh did I forget to mention Dylan text me as well since I'm back but that's another story to tell for tomorrow 

Stay tuned bloggers ✌:) 

Forgive or Forget

Up went my walls again, but some how my father could always squeeze through the cracks.. He was the only man that could always have my heart, he had always been there when i hit rock bottom. He was a man who always forgives and a man that always puts other before him, but i never understood how he could forgive easily when that person has hurt you so bad... But my father he was a man with great words and meaning (love ya daddy)

Coming back to Australia after my holiday, my phone wouldnt stop going off! Dylan was trying his best to try and get in contact with me but me being stubborn i turn down all his texts and calls. i hadn't talked to dylan since a week, which i started to miss him so i answered one of his calls, it started of from a big cry apology, to angry why didn't you answer or text me back! then back to his apology.. We sorted out things and i forgave him, we were back to ourselves that happy couple but still had to work more better on our trust issues (well he had to!) couple of weeks later the girl he hooked up with tryed to come into our realtionship and break us up, but that never happened... But what she was saying it actually got me thinking again (she mentioned that they were hooking up 4 times since me and Dylan have been going out) I asked him about it but as boys do to keep them safe he said no only 2 times... ONLY 2 TIMES! Ahh hello that's when I went all syco! Lols he was pretty shocked when he saw me react but hey don't mess with a girls feelings. 

I put Dylan behind me and just forced on what I want to do next year cause it was coming before I knew it ( meaning for 2013) so I enrolled to university to study forensic sciences for 2014 cause 2013 was my year. A year for me to just have a break from realtionship problems and just surf the waves around the world. 

Me and Dylan still keep in contact, we pretty much talk everyday he's at uni now studying engineering. We still have that connection but we put it on a hold as I need to just focus on my self and find that girl who was always out there, I miss him every now and then... We promised each other that we will wait for each other but I feel bad because what if I don't go back and he's left broken hearted or I'm left broken hearted :( 

Anyways I'm back home from Bali. I miss the culture there it was amazing and different from other culture that I have been apart of but the one thing that's all the same is the love for family and the friendship! But it feels good to be home with mums home cooking and seeing my dad again and two brothers love my family !!